Help please!

I just received a rather upsetting message that said that I wasn't allowed to join the wives-of-the-unit Facebook profile where they plan social activities but also share information about what is going on with the unit (like troop movement!). I was fairly certain that I was going to be excluded from this too, but the FRO said to my not-husband that I just had to be on the MOL and he seemed miffed at me for feeling excluded by the group and taking a slightly victimized attitude towards it. Now, this is all hearsay and the BF tends to not always be the most careful with his word choice or remember exactly what he said, but that was what was reported to me. So after the conversation, I applied for a "friendship" (oh FB, what have you done to our vocabulary?).

This is what I received this morning:

Amanda,
Unfortunately we cannot accept your friend request at this time. The FRO has verified that you are not a Bastard Wife (yet), and said for you to email or call him if anything has changed. I understand you are very supportive of your Marine and am sorry we have to keep these rules. Best of luck to you,
Admin 

 Is it just me or is the "Best of luck to you," a little snotty? Like something out of Mean Girls. "Yea, you aren't cool enough to sit at our lunch table so never talk to us again. Goodbye."

This is my reply that I haven't sent yet:

That is interesting because he told my not-husband that anyone who was on the MOL was allowed to join and seemed upset that I would feel excluded for some reason. I wouldn't have sent the friend request if he hadn't said that.

I can accept being excluded from the social activities, although it DOES make it a little hard to fulfill the FRO's suggestion to have 5 friends in the battalion that you can call on to support you when things go wrong. Maybe girlfriends never experience family illness, cars breaking down, or the death or injury of their Marine? That would be nice, but I don't think that Murphy cares if you are married or not.

So the "finding support from people going through the same thing" is out. But, I guess it's your prerogative who you socialize with and under what conditions.

My concern is that you seem to be posting important information about the Battalion on the profile page; for example, movements related to the FEX III. This is information that is necessary for me in the same way that it is necessary for you--to make sure I'm available to pick him up instead of being out of town for the weekend (which I had planned to be but fortunately had already canceled), to do whatever cleaning and preparations I put off, and to have the peace of mind that he's coming home early. I'm not saying these are vital reasons, but they are the exact same reasons that a wife would want to know and if they are good enough for you, then I don't see why they aren't good enough for me.

I accept that your/Dan's decision is final, but please keep in mind that I too am sending a loved one off to war, that I too am trying to keep the home fire burning and the ship on course without the help of my partner, and I too am all alone in a new city--only I don't have the support of the (almost) fellow-wives that I heard was so crucial to a successful deployment.

I'm just sorry that those aren't the qualifications you are looking for.

Is that okay? Keep in mind that I don't know who the admin for the site is (and she clearly didn't want to tell me since she signed the note "admin"). Which brings up another point about how I can't trust anyone else in the Battalion now because I'm paranoid that they are the person who told me to 'go away.' Great.

I did have something in there about DADT being completely repealed recently and asking what they planned to do about THOSE significant others without a marriage license, but decided that I didn't need to trivialize a fight for civil rights by comparing it to my situation. Also that mentioning DADT probably won't endear me to "admin."

So please, please, please--tell me what you think! My people are in deserts and planes and I'm not sure who to ask for advice on this one and I'm pretty upset about it (about to start my third cry) because it seems so stupid and cruel to make my life just a little bit harder because we aren't married.

And to the Battalion Commander: It's a little inconsiderate to tell us not to get married before the deployment or allow the USMC to dictate our status, and then allow your FRO and other representatives to discriminate against me for following that advice. Also, this might be a contributing factor to the quickie and quickly failed marriages in the unit.